Loving Into Fate's Hands
by Tesmoname
Summary: After waiting so long to keep the one he loves alive, he comes to realize just how cruel the hands of Fate can be. OneShot.


**AN:** My Old One Shot, posted under a different name. Edited it big time. This is one of my favorite stories that I have written. Don't know why-I just love it. Formerly, Love Given Hope.

BTW! The beginning poem-like thing does not belong to me! IT is owned by Natalie Imbruglia ( Do You Love?)

_**Loving Into Fate's Hands**_

Tesmoane

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_**Child it's broke**_

_**And I feel you slipping away**_

_**Child you spoke**_

_**And the world fell silent again...**_

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I glared at her with all of my might. Trying in vain to keep my lips from parting. Traitorous, traitorous body of mine.

When it seemed as if the laughter would spill from the very cracks of my being, I finally gave in, my sides heaving as the laughter roared its way silently in and out of my chest, leaving my breathless with tears of mirth swimming in my emerald eyes.

"Oh! Haha-ha! That-ha-waahaass too funny!" I hissed, tossing and rolling around until the movement caused me to fall out of my perch on the old Goshinboku and onto the cement.

"Ow!" I murmured, rubbing my hand over the spot I had unceremoniously landed on, all laughter gone from my face as he surveyed the area to be sure no one had spotted me or heard my over rambunctious motions. But that couldn't have been helped, the emotion that had welled up inside of me had been close to hysterics, and for good reason too! I had been so worried about her, and so relieved when I had been able to once again spot her trying to lug her over-stuffed back pack around that I could not help but be close to hysterics.

So when these feelings of insecurity had finally found an excuse to erupt, it had taken everything inside of me to hold it down and not jump her immediately. Instead, I watched as she created a rip in her back pack, and then I was consumed with relieved laughter.

It was just too much to resist! Seeing her all flustered and angry, throwing random articles of clothing, cosmetics, medicinal artifacts, and food just made me go all nostalgic and giddy.

I recalled the way it had been back then. Things had been wonderful, sure there was the constant bickering between everyone and their half brothers, but still...

That was how it had always been.

Yet right now Kagome was not acting herself. Once there would have been a time when she would have brushed the accident of her back pack off with a smile or a frustrated sigh. That was not the case now.

Instead, Kagome Higurashi was sobbing with all her strength. Her head cupped in her hands, her small form kneeling on the stone ground. Each and every tear signifying some form of heartbreak that she kept under layers and layers of smiles and nonchalant gestures. She was dying inside, and in turn it was causing me to feel miserable.

_What could be happening? _I wondered, my gaze full of sorrow and self-loathing. After all, I wasn't out there comforting her, no- instead I was sitting in the God Tree all stalker like, watching her as she tortured herself for some reason.

I tried to think what could have been bothering her so much. I tried to think back to what she had done today when she had come through the well. I had assumed it was just to gather medicines or ramen.

But after she had composed herself, she marched away from the mess, leaving the contents of her tattered, filthy pack to lay all over the shrine grounds.

She had gone into her house, calling a family meeting. When I decided to listen in, I could make out a very feminine and very soft cry echoing throughout the house. It was soon accompanied by shouts of anger and disbelief, both of which I guessed had erupted from her brother, Souta, and her grandfather.

She must have given them bad news..

When I drew this conclusion, my head snapped up, my face must have mirrored the emotions that churned within my heart: anger, denial, despair.

Those who know nothing of me, or of my connection to Kagome would have been astounded at my radical mood swings, so contrasting to my usual monotonous stoic ness. They never would be able to grasp the fact that every emotion was on raw display for her, and for her alone. She was mine, and she was everything.

Which is why I was there. I had been watching her and her family for so long that I knew every little thing about her. The way that, as a child, when it would storm outside she would hide under her bead-only to be comforted by quiet whispers coming from the tree outside her window. My doing. Or the way that, when her father died, she fell asleep by his gravestone every-night for nearly a week. To awake with a blanket that she had forgotten in her grief.

Such medaling in her life may seem inconsequential, but time, fate, and destiny are fickle things that hang in a delicate balance. Still, I was willing to change the past, destroy the future for this mere slip of a girl. If need be, I would go to hell and back, rather than go through life without her.

And as I listened to the misery taking place inside of her home, I began to run through my memories. I feared now that if these memories served true-I might have to do just that. Drag her from death.

Because there was no way in the Seven Hells that I was going to let her die! Not again.

This time I was going to be strong for her, this time I was not going to sit idly by as she sacrificed, and compromised every ounce of her pure heart for a thankless cause. No sir, this time everything was going to be different.

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_**Do you love?**_

_**Do you need love?**_

_**When your angels shout**_

_**Is your heart strung out?**_

_**Do you love?**_

_**Do you need love?**_

_**When the angels fall**_

_**Have you lost it all...**_

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He could still remember the day it began, or ended. He remembered sitting patiently while everyone fretted over the upcoming battle. He was watching her emerge from the Bone Eaters Well, her face basking in warmth and resolution. He remembered looking on is amusement as each of his companions took in her appearance, watching the way she moved. There had been something different about her- she moved with a purpose, and she was assured, full of a hope that no one else had been partaking in.

Kagome's eyes practically glowed and radiated peace and happiness as well as the firm assurance that gave everyone faith.

"_What are you so happy about? Do you know what is about to happen? We are about to face Naraku and you are smiling like a dim-wit!"_

"_Inuyasha." She began, her hand grasping an over-loaded yellow bag that had a haphazardly stitched tear in its side, "There isn't any need to be afraid! We've worked so hard, come so far… We will get through this! Everything that we have worked so hard for--it is all going to be worth it!" Then she smiled a brilliant smile that seemed to dispel all doubt from the world. _

_Then she looked at me and mouthed three words, "I love you."_

The memories were touched with hazy warmth, edged with a sharp distasteful foreboding. And though the memory itself had been a happy one, he had no intentions of letting her go back into the past to face that hanyou--either one of them! Sure, Inuyasha was the one she loved, but it wasn't until the very end that the half-wit had the brains to tell her he felt the same way.

It was going to be different this time! Because this time he was going to make sure that she didn't cry herself to sleep under the stars of Sengoku-Jidai when Inuyasha confronted Kikyou.

This time he was not going to let Kagome go back there and get herself killed. It would solve so many problems.

If Kagome had not died, then a certain orphaned kitsune boy would not have had to endure the rest of his life all on his own.

Those reasons alone were enough for him to keep the schoolgirl on her side of the blasted well. So yes, he was going to keep her here, with force if necessary, time, fate, and destiny be damned!

_Mayb…-I will let her go back **after** the battle. _He thought to himself as he silently resumed his spot on the mascot of the Higurashi Shrine. _Until then, I will keep her safe._ That seemed to calm his high-strung nerves just enough so that he felt comfortable stroking his fluffy tails in public.

_Would Miroku have had the courage to propose to Sango if not for Kagome's death? _ He wondered, stretching his limbs as he settled down, continuing to watch with sorrow as his favorite person in the world left her house to sew up her bag, and cry.

_Or if Kouga would have stopped killing innocent people. Or if Sesshomaru would have loosened up towards humans. _Grimly, he remembered that fateful day, and how Kagome's selfless death had earned the respect of the Demon Lord of the West.

If Kagome had not died, the Shikon no Tama would still be in existence, for with her dying breath-she had wished life into Kikyou's rotting corpse, meaning Inuyasha would not have to die with her… Two more lives were spared in that one moment.

"It doesn't matter." He whispered fiercely, not wanting to think that anything good had come from her death. He wouldn't be swayed from his decision!

Still... Now that he thought back to it all, it was her selflessness that had allowed them to defeat Naraku. And if they hadn't defeated that disgusting hanyou, then Miroku would have been swallowed in his Kazanna. Kohaku would have killed Sango. Kikyou would have continued to walk the earth. Inuyasha would have forever been merged with Onigumo. Rin's soul would have been devoured by Kanna's mirror. Kouga would have died by Kagura's hands.

And the two incarnates of Naraku would never been set free...

_It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter **at all**! _He cried over and over in his head, his fingers digging into the lushness of his long hair, belying his aggravation.

"All that matters is her!" Yes, that was all that mattered to him. As long as she lived, then he could be happy again.

He was shaken from his internal struggle when he heard Kagome say, "I know that you are there demon. Just--just show yourself please. Or you can go away until I come back?" Kagome stood up tall, glaring at the Goshinboky.

"You see, I have a very important date with an evil being. If you have a bone to pick with me, I will be free on Sunday! Then I –or whatever is left of me- is all yours!" She let out a bark of a laugh that let him know just how far from funny the situation was.

It was now or never, he had to stop her from going through the well at all costs, he knew that if she didn't show up Inuyasha would leave her behind, as he had wanted to in the beginning. That was probably why she was in such a hurry.

So, clucking his tongue in a scolding manner he leapt over to where she stood, his youkai prowess making this task a breeze. He took private, childish delight in hearing her gasp and watching her eyes widen with the beginnings of recognition, "Why hello Kagome. It's been a while. Before you say anything," he said as she opened her mouth, "you must first dry your tears." He grasped her chin, "You are my ray of sunshine. No clouds today."

Instead of clouds he got more tears, "H-how?" The confusion was evident in her voice, and in her widening eyes.

And then he watched his very own miracle, the tears fell like a waterfall, to be surrounded by a blindingly beautiful smile. "You survived!" She cried in happiness, her aura of sorrow and desperation evaporating even as her honey brown eyes shone with love and excitement. The transformation was awe-inspiring. Causing him to suck-in his breath a little as her face lit up completely. Her entire being sparkling with vigor and hope, her smile bright and full of relief.

Before he could reply her arms were around him, her face buried in his chest. "Gods! I am so happy." She laughed her eyes still full of tears. "I was so afraid that there would be nothing for any of us after this battle. That there was no hope for any of us!" These words were whispered with reverence, and though her eyes closed in rapture he could feel warm liquid soaking through his shirt.

Tenderly he reached to push a rouge lock of midnight-black hair behind her ear, noticing how much stronger her power had gotten as her aura of despair had lifted from her, thinking to himself that she could ward off any youkai! _She is so much stronger when she is confident and happy. No wonder she was able to defeat Naraku._

Then it hit him.

The revelation was a painful one, it made him want to curse and rage, or kill himself. It was one of those moments of clarity that make you feel insignificant, as if you don't have any control over what happens in your own life. It was this very moment of clarity that made him hug her tighter to him.

He killed her.

'_Don't let go. Don't let go. Dontletgodontletgo.'_

"We won, didn't we?" She asked, already assured of the answer.

He nodded, knowing any hesitation would condemn her to failure. _'But I am not letting her go.'_ His words echoed his thoughts, "I still don't want you to go." His bright eyes pleaded with her own, setting on display all of the turmoil he had carried with him for 500 years. He knew that she could see that something drastic was about to happen, something involving her. "Don't go."

She understood she would have to sacrifice… but did she realize just how much?

"I have to." Kagome wrapped her arms around him even tighter. "Tell me about them… were they happy?"

He told her everything. And as he came to the end his voice became choked with emotion. He had refrained from telling her about the battle exactly-knowing that she couldn't know it all in order to go through with it. "Please don't go."

One hand twined its fingers in his hair as the other rubbed soothing circles on his back. "It'll be worth it. You have to understand that and have faith in me."

"Kagome, you will do it. I had faith in you then, and I still carry it with me now." Even as he said the words he felt the emptiness begin to creep into his heart, the same frigidness that had accompanied him for the past few centuries. The same loneliness that would befall one young boy today. "I love you." He whispered into her hair, "Don't ever forget that please." He was desperate now, knowing every trick he had would not stop her... He had played right into Fate's hand...

"Thank you. I will be sure to tell you the same." She whispered mischievously, pulling away from him.

'_Don't go!'_

He clenched his hands upon hearing her next words. "You have no idea what you have just done for me! For all of us back there. You have given me hope-now I can pass it along. I wont tell them I saw you, that might have bad consequences for the entire time paradox thingy." She laughed lightly, as if she weren't about to die.

'_Not again.'_

"Please-

he began, as he walked with her to the well house, her steps filled with the same assurance as that day long ago. At his half-voiced plea she turned back to him, her eyes questioning.

"Just." He said, defeat written all over his face he hid behind his bangs, "Be strong. We all have your back."

Again she smiled brightly, tip-toeing to place a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth, "I know you will." And then in a swirl of blue magic, my favorite person was gone...

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_**Child be still**_

_**In a storm to wave us goodbye**_

_**Child we will**_

_**Return to dance with the sky**_

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"_Wait! Kagome? 'I love you?' Why did you say that to me? You aren't going anywhere are you?" The green and white clad girl turned to the voice._

"_No! I wont go anywhere."_

"_Really?"_

_She smiled, her eyes radiating the love she held for the figure in front of her. Love she had expressed to him in three small words minutes earlier._

"_Yes. I promise." She reached over to lift him up high. "Besides. Where would I be without my little ray of sunshine?" She giggled, "I really do love you Shippo. Never forget that."_

_The kitsune boy gripped her in a hug, "I won't. Not ever."_

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_**Do you love?**_

_**Do you need love?**_

_**When your angels shout**_

_**Is your heart strung out?**_

_**Do you love?**_

_**Do you need love?**_

_**When your angels cry**_

_**Does your spirit die?**_

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**AN:** Sniffles I found this very sad. And I am the one writing it! It is not really that sad, just kinda depressing... Maybe I should get some help... Well, tell me what you thought about this **ONE SHOT**... Hehe just a reminder!

**_Artist:_** _Natalie Imbruglia_

**_Song:_** _Do You Love_

**_Album:_** _White Lilly Islands_


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